I’ve got a big mouth. (I just saw that smirk on your face. :) ) Let me explain. I say things like, “God will provide,” and “God is sovereign,” and “God works all things out for good,” and “God is more than able.” I say things like this all the time. Why? Because I serve a big God. But what happens when life gets rough? What happens when things don’t go the way I’ve planned? What happens when God brings me to places where I have no one and nothing to fall back on but Him? He makes me put my money where my mouth is. In this season where I’m waiting for my support and waiting for some situations to resolve and preparing to move around the world, God is working. He has put me in places where I cannot do anything so that He can show up in mighty ways and receive ALL the glory.
I recently listened to a sermon by Jim Shaddix of the Church of Brookhills, entitled “Life Without a Backup Plan.” If you know anything about me, you know that I am a planner. I plan just about everything, often well before I tell anyone my plans. When I heard this sermon title, I laughed and thought, “This will be interesting.” It was interesting, but even more than that, God used it to speak directly to my situation and encourage my heart to trust Him more.
The gist of the sermon was that God will bring us to situations where we have to step out in faith and have no one to fall back on but God Himself; times when God is our only backup plan (and indeed our only plan). Jim mentioned that God is most pleased when we live segments of our lives in such a way that if God doesn’t show up, then we’re in trouble. He brings us to these places because when we trust Him, God is faithful to show up, and when He does, He gets the most glory.
Throughout my life, it has been my utmost desire that God be glorified. I am not married, but it has been my prayer that my love story someday will be a story that people hear and say, “only God could have done that.” I desire the same thing when it comes to my financial support. When people hear how God has brought in my support, I want them to say, “Only God could have done that.” Jim mentioned that when God brings us to step out in faith with Him as our only plan, we need to be jealous for His glory.
As Jim talked about this idea of being jealous for His glory, he mentioned Ezra. When Ezra was getting ready to come back to Jerusalem, he said that he was afraid to ask the king for help, since he had told the king over and over that “the hand of God was upon [Israel]” (Ezra 7). Ezra had opened his mouth one too many times, and then when push came to shove, he had to put his money where his mouth was. God showed me that He has placed me in this same situation. I have been saying over and over again that God will provide. Now that I am only 21 days from my 100% goal date, am I going to continue to have faith and trust that God will provide? Will I continue to step out in faith, knowing that God wants to show Himself faithful?
I also have recently had a situation come up with my student loan forgiveness. It has been important to me that I am debt free before I go overseas. I was supposed to receive teacher loan forgiveness for teaching math for 5 years. However, the loan forgiveness was not processed correctly, and I received much less than I was supposed to. I am waiting for some reprocessing, but God has shown me that I have to continue to trust Him in this, too. Originally, I thought it was going to be another year before I went to the Philippines, which would have allowed me to pay these off. However, HE is the One who opened up the door for me to leave earlier. HE is the One who allowed me to think I would be getting a certain amount of loan forgiveness. HE is the One who has brought me to this place. As I walk through this trial, will I look to Him to continue to be faithful to provide, or will I start looking at the waters all around me and sink, as Peter did when he walked on water?
I still have more ways in which I need to trust God. He keeps showing me this. Right now I have to walk moment by moment, trusting on God alone. He is faithful. I’m ready to put my money where my mouth is.
My Big Mouth
By Amanda Benson 4/12/15
My mouth says that You are God.
My mouth says that You will provide.
My mouth says that You are sufficient. My mouth says that You have created all.
My mouth says that You sustain all.
My mouth says that through You I live and move and have my being.
My mouth says that You have led me here.
My mouth says that You will sustain me here.
My mouth says that You spoke the world into being.
My mouth says that You hold the universe in Your hand.
My mouth says that You are sovereign.
My mouth says that You work all things for Your purposes.
My mouth says that You are more than able.
My mouth says that Your grace is sufficient.
My mouth says that You are more than enough.
My mouth says that You are the Solid Rock.
My mouth says that You are faithful.
My mouth says that You are good.
Let me put my money where my mouth is.
I stepped out of the boat.
I have no other plan.
I can’t do it on my own.
It’s all up to You.
If you don’t show up, I’ll crash and burn.
It’s up to you now.
I have testified to who you are.
Let my actions match my words.
I lean on Your Everlasting Arms.
May I not trust in myself.
May I not trust in man.
May I not trust in my plan.
You are my plan.
My trust is in You.
Come through.
Not for me.
For the glory of Your Holy Name
For the working of your great purposes
For the sharing of your message
It’s all for you.
Let it be known that it is not by my might or my power
But it is by Your might and Your great power.
I’ll continue to open my big mouth,
Because I serve a big God.
And I’ll wait in expectation.
Watch out, world!
There’s no telling what God will do!