My Heart's Desires

What are your heart's desires?

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be two things: a teacher and a mom.

So far, God has graciously allowed me to be a teacher, and what a joy that has been! I recently have seen a lot of fruit in my ministry as a teacher at Faith Academy. I have a lot of kids talking to me and sharing their struggles with me and seeking my advice. I'm building deeper relationships with my students. I'm seeing them fall more in love with Jesus. I love this. This is what I am meant to do.

But there is still this other lingering desire in my heart, and most of the time, I'm content with being single. I love that I can go anywhere I want, I can serve however I want, and I can stay at school as long as I want. But sometimes I just want someone to do those things with. I think recently I've seen a period where a lot of my friends are getting married - those who didn't get married right out of college - so it makes me wonder again when God might decide to fulfill this desire for me. To be honest, there are times when I read verses like Psalm 37:4 ("Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart") and think, "yeah, right." (I know...not a good Christian thought to have, but I'm human and still have faults).

But God has reminded me of something recently - some things I've been praying for for years now: 1) That my "love story" would be a story that people hear and say "only God could have done that!" 2) That no matter how many times I ask for something, God won't give it to me unless it is His perfect plan for my life, and 3) That God would bring my guy into my life when He thinks that we can serve Him better together than we can apart.

You see, these are truly the desires of my heart - not just being married or being a mom. The deepest desire of my heart is that God be glorified through my life and receive the glory for what happens in my life, even my love life. God has shown me that He already is fulfilling my deepest desires. He is already doing all of these three things I've been praying for. At this point in my life, if I end up getting married, I am pretty sure it's going to be an "only God could have done that" story, as there are no guys even on the horizon in my life. He has also not allowed me to be married yet because it isn't part of His plan yet. He has other plans for me for now (and maybe for a while yet). And, God has shown me that he also is fulfilling my third desire by keeping me single. This shows me that God has me exactly where He wants me - not just physically in the Philippines teaching at Faith Academy, but also relationally.

So, in fact, God has given me the desires of my heart as I've delighted in Him. Oh what a joy and comfort this is! Any time I have the thought of "When, Lord?" I think back to this - that God is actively fulfilling my desires. Do I still want to be a mom? Of course! But, it's not my greatest desire. God knows what my greatest desire is, and He is fulfilling it as He has promised.

"You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing." ~Psalm 145:16

What a good, good, God we serve.

"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" ~Psalm 27:13-14